One upon a time there was a hungry fox. This fox tried to reach some grapes hanging high on the vine. But she was unable to do so. She tried again and again, leaped with unequaled swiftness and ferocity. All with uniformly fruitless outcomes. As her hope ground to a halt she walked away remarking, "Oh! You aren't even ripe yet! I don't need any sour grapes! "
This story follows an archetype: one desires something, find it unattainable, and reduces one's dissonance by criticizing it. The powerful reason of dissonance is an idea conflicting the very fundamental element of self-concept. Such as "I am a good person." or "I made the right decision.". The anxiety that comes with the contingency of having made a bad decision can lead to rationalization, the tendency to create additional reasons or justifications to support one's choices. This belief may or may not be true, but it would reduce dissonance and make the person feel better.
Can a fox mind choose to unmount the bicycle of its ego-defense mechanism and accept that "I am not good" or "I didn't deserve to succeed.". Accepting that "I am good" goes with natural flow and works out well with super ego, even if one is "not good" (subjectively). But if the fox accepts "I am not good", she ends up initiating a tenacious struggle to be "Good". Something she has accepted she is not. Lets hope that this fox gets sweet grapes after being the "Good" she wants to be. It's like being on two trains at once. One going nowhere and the other going in the opposite direction. Who knows you may eventually reach somewhere.
Or the fox is just living in an increasingly cruel state of thralldom hoping to find its island of water surrounded by earth believing that she can be what she is not for a bunch of "sour grapes".
Credit: Image author: John Rae, An illustration from Fables in Rhyme for Little Folks, New York, 1918
Moses is abandoned in a basket, grows up without his father. , , and . Batman, Spiderman, , many of the X-men. , , the Baudelaire Children, and and Leia Skywalker.
Now that we agree on this fact, let's move on to another one which we can disagree upon.
Most girls like jobless guys as boyfriends
Before we skip the content to start bashing, let's define jobless guy as a guy 'who do not work for a living'. He may either be born to a rich dad or is enjoying jobless benefits or just studying or is just .
So, what is this statement based upon? An absolutely vague thought, backed up by instant (inaccurate) statistical analysis provided by friends and lots of love stories.
Why are jobless guys the dream boys?
- Jobless guys do not ignore you. They make you feel special and important. They can say eleven times a day how much you matter to them and how they can do anything for you. (Also that they can eat you and they cannot read your mind.)
- The jobless guy does not have many friends. So there is no one hogging all the time and attention.
- The jobless guy does have will to work. They hunt for jobs and try to make their mark.
- Jobless guys respect your work, career, fashion sense or even your makeup skills.
- Jobless guys never bash your family. Even if they do they are just going through a phase.
- Jobless guys lie to you because you are precious to them and they cannot afford to lose you. Guys with job lies because they are just phony.
- Jobless guys ogle at the other girls to keep themselves distracted. Guys with jobs are just disgusting.
- Jobless guys are ill mannered because of the circumstances. If they utter profanities it is because they are under real pressure. Guys with jobs are so uncouth.
- Jobless guy ends up getting a job then it is your inspiration and motivation which helped him. You can feel so proud of him and sing some song about the awesomeness of your jobless lover with a job.
- Jobless guys are quite easy to run away with. They do not have jobs and security issues. You can run away to a jungle where no one goes. You can climb/jump up the trees to watch your jobless guy's world. You can build a peaceful cottage. He will chop wood in winter to heat the house where you both can sing "Jingle Bell" with your kids on Christmas.
- More ....
I was named after a neighbor's kid.
I was around three years old. I was supposed to join a school and my parents needed a name for me. The sacred quest to find a name for me was bestowed upon my cousin. Being the smartest kid in the family he went through a gigantic repository of names. The source of this repository were names of students in his class, names of students in his elder sister's class, names of students in his yet another elder sisters class and names of students in classes of all his cousins. Man! He was really smart to remember these many names.
His mother, my aunt, suggested to choose a name which starts with alphabet 'A' so that I can be amongst the first kids in roll call. But this suggestion soon received a veto from her daughter. Reason provided was - "it is difficult to do proxy attendance when you are amongst the first students to be called." So, the team of the worthy knights decided that my name should start with alphabet 'M' or 'N'. I was never told how they ended up with choosing their neighbor's kid's name as a name for me. I believe they must have forgotten about the brainstorming session anyway. Or may be aliens came in a spaceship suggested them this name and wiped out their memory of other details.
That is how I got my name when I entered a school, at last, three years after I was born: Nishu Goyal.
My name isn't the end of the story about my name. When your name is Bob no one asks you. How do you spell that? Isn't that more like a girl's name? Not so with Nishu Goyal.
In my college days my friend who was also my next door neighbor, my bench mate, my branch mate, told me about his disappointment when he realized that the person he will be spending most of his time during classes is a guy. He apparently scanned the list of Freshers very well for all instances of the fairer sex. Same sort of disappointment was confessed to me by teaching assistants, guys who came for college campus placements as recruiters, guys who joined the job along with me. The list goes on.
But there was one good thing about my name.
I believed - it sort of uniquely belonged to me. If you google search for 'Nishu Goyal' you will find this blog. Not a big deal. But still. What is the chance that you will meet someone with name 'Nishu Goyal'.
Well if you really look hard. You can find another 'Nishu Goyal' on Linkedin. And what are the odds that my company owner goes to IIT Bombay for campus recruitment and hires her. I can't even finish the post saying - think about it.
You don't feel like sitting, concentrating and working on one thing at a time. Instead you flatter yourself about adeptness of stitching in time to save the nine. You indulge yourself in multiple tasks. You fail. And you hide behind the forsaken masks. No one blames you. You are a genius. Invulnerable. You are God.
Yes. No. You are far more than Olympian Gods. You are a legendary Titan.
You decorate your throne with your elegantly proud posture in the hall of the Gods. Sometimes you give a thought to the 'things' . You try to think straight. You can't. You feel vulnerable to the Ghast negativity of every question you have. But you are God. Insuperable. You sublimate the doubts in your aura of attitude and arrogance. You build up a cyst around yourself. Impregnable castle. You are amazed by your own efficacy.
You are amused by many other things about yourself. When you crack a joke you smile like a smug who just smelt his own fart. It is not depressing that you are the only one who is enthralled by your sense of humor. Other mortals just do not get the humor. They are merely samples of your playfulness. They might have a dim perception that you played a cruel trick on them, but they lack the intelligence to really comprehend the magnitude of it. You are so authentic and original.
"Let's get out of the Sun and wait in shadow"
"I am generating vitamin D"
"Where do you live?"
"I live in the present"
Hail to you! Almighty. All knowing. Omnipresent. In your bizarre smuggish humor there exists a subtle self mockery and bits of philosophy. It reflects how down to earth you are. So cute and innocent.
But you need to tell your followers that you mock yourself, you bring pain upon yourself, you taunt yourself because even a legion of Satans cannot amiss your authority. You do it for pleasure purposes as no one else can do it to you.
And as far as your philosophy goes it is by itself a joke. Every joker is a philosopher.
God! Don't you feel sometime to come out of your majestic city of the Gods, get a life and put some fight like a real man?
PS: You are counting on mortals not to understand this. LOL